I like it pretty.

Who gets a headache from vegetarian sushi? Well, me. Yesterday was the second time I noticed what appears to be a cause and effect relationship between the Fresh Market veggie rolls of which I’m fond, and a follow-up headache. I’m going to blame it on the MSG. There should not be MSG in sushi--absolutely no excuse for it--but there it was, plain as splotchy grocery store label font, slapped on the tray. MSG. And not only that, but aspartame. eh...what?

Now that I think this through, I do recall that the Fresh Market veggie rolls had a little more zizz...a little more bite than the comparable ones I’ve gotten at Whole Foods Market. Not that you’d expect too much zizz from rice, a few strips of carrot, and a plug of avocado. That’s what the small plop of wasabi they give you is for, if you so desire. And now that I know the truth, and its effects, I’m ready to rededicate myself to the crunchy ideals of Whole Foods ingredient taboos, and hone my appreciation for carrot as carrot.

In Annapolis, there are three main competitors in the not-your-mainstream-grocery-store game. The two aforementioned plus Trader Joe’s. This trio meets my grocery needs. I only venture into the closer-to-home Giant and Safeway when I have an urgent need. I admit to being a food and shopping elitist, but plead that my reasons are legit, and grounded securely in honest self-knowledge.

Safeway (west a couple miles, in the vicinity of my mom’s and sister’s homes,) is almost tolerable. They just don’t have everything I like. Giant (closest to me) is a total sensory trial. The lighting is harsh, disorienting, and leaves my brain swimming in a sort of paranoid surreality. The aisles are tall, canyonesquely narrow, and chock-a-block with items, only 0.75% of which I’d ever consider purchasing. This makes finding what I want a bit like playing Where’s Waldo?(.) There are a few other popular American franchises that have a similar effect on me. I walk in and react as if someone just blew an airhorn, turned on a disco ball, and launched a line of dancing Glenn Becks in my face. In other words, I want to leave.

I don’t exactly know how to account for my reaction. I cannot believe that a major player such as Giant Food has not done exhaustive merchandising research. Apparently I am just a psychological outlier.

The Fresh Market, on the other hand, taking over the space held by Whole Foods until they moved to bigger digs, is pretty. It’s restful. It’s calm. They play nice music. They give you free tiny coffees. They do not, however, have the purity of ingredient shtick thing that defines Whole Foods Market. If I had to summarize Fresh Market’s niche in one line, it would be “we’re prettier than those guys.” You can get napkins or paper plates, but they’re going to be pretty. There are a few cosmetics, but only pretty ones. And if it’s food that comes in a jar, it’s going to be a pretty jar. Of that you can be sure. That of which you cannot be sure is whether a given item will contain chemical additives that you’d typically prefer to avoid. Some things do, some things don’t. It takes label reading. (And now, in my case, 1.50+ pocket-sized magnifying glasses which--I think--I got at Whole Foods.)

I’m sure that I will continue to covet and purchase chocolate cupcakes with white frosting from Fresh Market. Also, indubitably, Thomas’ cinnamon-raisin bagels, unsalted mixed nuts, and a batch of other items which can be happily obtained from any member of my grocery trio.

But when it comes to veggie sushi...well, we’ll let Whole Foods speak for itself, from its own website:

“We carry natural and organic products because we believe that food in its purest state — unadulterated by artificial additives, sweeteners, colorings, and preservatives — is the best tasting and most nutritious food available.”

And least likely, in the case of sushi, to give me a headache.

So yep. That’s me: crunch-elitist. (except where cupcakes are concerned.) I will be sure not to run for President, because the populists would probably use this against me.