Monday, June 21, 2010

He ain't heavy...

...nor is he exactly a lightweight at 160 lbs, but raising the kid has been a bit of a long road, with many a winding turn. Gabe never much wanted to bother with driving. Still, he gamely sat through driver's ed in the Fall of '08, and completed 2 out of 3 two-hour on-road sessions with the driving instructor. I was advised however, after session 2, that Gabe needed a hefty measure of more road experience before we should bother scheduling #3, and therein lay the problem. Road experience would require me and Gabe in a car at the same time, but opposite to our usual configuration. There was, in other words, no one around to sit shot-gun with him except me, and this simply proved to be a non-compatible way to place the two of us on the gameboard.

So I dropped it. Gabe had no itch to drive, and I had no itch to push a cantankerous (in that setting) 16 year old into situations he was not ready for. But, as his senior year of high school, '09/'10, pressed on I realized that mentoring a new driver was not a task I wished to postpone for future enjoyment, and that the kid needed a serviceable photo i.d., and that we might as well buckle up and git 'er done.

So, at Christmas break '09, I badgered him to once again do the online practice tests so that he could (and did) once again pass the multiple choice computer test needed to replace his now-expired learner's permit. As Spring rolled in, I got back in touch with the driving school (who do retain their records that long...Gabe is hardly unprecedented in drawing out the process,) and hired Rich, the placid-like-a-cow road instructor (as opposed to the other guy, whose name I've forgotten,) to take the kid on-road for an extra 10 hours.

I failed to mention the vision part. Amblyopia as a little child has left Gabe with a right eye which plays left field to his left eye's first baseman, but the right eye's acuity is not improved with glasses. It's a brain thing. And in obtaining his first learner's permit, we played a lengthy game of telephone/fax/and pass-the-buck-to-the-supervisor before the optometrist had filled out the proper paperwork to the MVA's satisfaction. There is, you see, no button to push on their monitors that says "one eye crappy/glasses not required." Hence, I made extra sure, before we went for permit #2, that he'd had a fresh eye exam and the proper paper was in hand.

So, it was at the end of this process--a rather organizationally-intensive one on my part--that we set off this morning for his official on-road driver's licensing test. On-road is a misnomer. It's more of an on-course test, where you cover a total of roughly 100 yards, distance-wise, but must pretend you're parallel parking between actual cars (rather than orange cones,) look over your shoulder to ensure that another vehicle has not magically materialized onto the closed course in your way, and use your turn signals for all you're worth.

I'm sure it did not hurt that Gabe's appearance of maturity in years, and unruffled nature gave a sense of greater experience than he in fact possesses, but I won't argue. He passed, and my decidedly not-unruffled innards heaved a great sigh of job well done. Even though we had to sit around the MVA for 2 hours (yes, really, 2 hours) waiting for number G75 to be called so he could sign the little screen, get the glamour shot in front of the blue towel, and snag the license.

Meanwhile, we concocted many ideas for flash-mobs which might make any time spent on the MVA's metallic benches more entertaining. Bingo cards for instance. So, as the synthesized female voice calls "A 25, F 213, I 9," (every number, in other words, except G75,) your planted people could pop up occasionally and yell "BINGO!" Or, how about a sudden onslaught of balloons and confetti as you congratulate some random person for being "the 10th customer we've served this year!" and present him with a giant check for $10 and five cents.

Or perhaps we'll leave these ideas for Gabe's future creative writing efforts. Next year. At college. Where he won't have a car anyway.

2 comments:

Martin said...

Do I understand this, Gabe's driving test did not include any actual road sections with real live traffic to deal with? And now he has a full license?

I can sypathise with his disinterest, I started learning aged 18 but didn't take a test until I was at least 20, because having no car to drive certainly made getting a full driving license less urgent.

Emily said...

Yes, the actual test is on a closed course and just involves certain maneuvers + a pretense of using signals, etc. However, in order to take the test, you must have completed driver's ed, which includes 6 hours behind the wheel with an instructor who must, after the 6 hours, deem you ready.

In Pennsylvania, the driving instructor can issue you a certificate which allows you to go to the DMV and obtain your license without further road testing.

Maryland is preparing to change the road test to an actual road test, which will be interesting as the 2 offices in our area are in very congested, difficult to drive in, locations.

Gabe still has little interest in driving, but he's leaving in August and will need some form of legit i.d., so it might as well be the driver's license which he will now not need to worry about in the future when he may want one.