Sunday, April 10, 2005

carpool buzz

The most interesting characters I can think of are the ones I really know. I itch to spoof them. And it wouldn’t even be a spoof. The truth, possibly condensed but completely unvarnished, would be more entertaining, more poignant, and better than anything I could concoct.

But I fear that condensing the truth could be construed as not nice. So most people I’ll leave alone. But not my carpool.

Typical (30 minute) ride to Gabe’s school with a handful of 10 to 14 year olds:


Austin: Oh! I just saw Gore-bath City! It was the cooooooooolest movie ever! It was sooooooo inappropriate! Mrs. Clement! You’ve gotta let Gabe see Gore-bath City!

Me: I doubt it.

Gabe: (mumbling, his nose firmly planted in a fantasy novel) No thanks, I don’t like movies with slow-moving zombies.

Sandy: I hate Miss Snarfpooper!(Sandy has creatively altered the last 2 syllables of the teacher’s name.) She’s such a pooper! She gave me sooo much homework!

Riggs: (whose regulation khakis and polo shirt are completely obscured by a camouflage hat and camouflage jacket with military patches all over it)Hey Austin! Have you heard they’ve come out with G.I.Blastemup for PS2?

Austin: That came out 3 weeks ago! Everybody already knows that!

Robert: That game’s lame anyway. It doesn’t even let you snipe.

Austin: I know! Evilness of the Dead Dudes is SO MUCH better! Gabe, do you have Evilness of the Dead Dudes?

Gabe: I don’t like games with slow-moving zombies.

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