Rachel headed to St. Mary’s today, about 2 weeks ahead of the semester schedule. She wants to do some time on the organic farm, and earn a couple pockets-full of cash. It’s not dorm move-in time, of course, so she’ll be crashing with her friend Kulveen (that’s Coolbeans to me,) and she loaded up at Whole Foods on the way down. Ken and Barbie, the goldfish, did not make it back to St. Mary’s this trip, and will be my wards, it seems, until Rachel comes for another load.
Becca and her not-boyfriend named Tyler were hanging around today, whereas Rachel’s not-boyfriend named Tyler was hanging around one day in Nags Head last week, and all this has Jeff quite confused. We are sorely in need of a not-boyfriend named Tyler for Olivia to make it a hat trick, and if Gabe ever brings home a girl named Tyler--not unlikely in today’s naming climate--that will truly cap things off with a feather.
My new skill for the day was toilet installation. I’ve never aspired to install a toilet, but it went down like so many things do around here. I’d had quite enough of the old toilet after living with it since Otterbein St. (that’s 22+ years.) As far as I can recall, it’s always been a bit of a diva, requiring that one hold the lever a good 10-15 seconds to ensure a proper 5 gallon flush. Lately it’s been a leaky diva. Leaky and inclined to grow multicolored colonies of unidentified microorganisms in the bowl, due to inefficient flushing. Jeff acquired a new one this morning. By afternoon, the diva was in the shower on her side, and the new pot was partially assembled amidst a scattering of nuts, washers, tools and stinky water. Jeff was not to be found in that collection of flotsam, and no toilet was in service downstairs. It was not difficult. I grasped the purpose of the squishy bowl bushings right away, and secured the nuts that held the tank to the seat. Unfortunately the supply hose coupling was hopelessly corroded and leaky and demanded a trip to the hardware store for a replacement. I grabbed a new seat while I was at it. Once the watertight hose was screwed on, the water level was simple enough to adjust, and we had a spot to pee, except, unfortunately, for a seat. The one I brought was too short.
Jeff picked one up on the way home, and put it in the bathroom. “Where’s the new seat,” I said. “Here,” he replied, handing me the too-short one. “No,” I said. “That’s the one I brought home. Where’s the one you brought home?” “Maybe in the truck,” he said. He checked and came back. “Here,” he said, handing me the too-short one again. Luckily, at this point I spotted the new one in the bathroom and attached it after dinner.
I’ve had the greatest urge lately, to hook a little silver Airstream to the back of my Subaru and make like Odysseus. Not the part where I’d have to stab a whole bunch of rude guys. Just the taking off part. That could be cool. I would want the toilet in my Airstream to come pre-installed.
